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THE CARAVAN Volume 10, Issue 4, April 2011
SELF-EXAMINATION: THE WAY YOU CHANGE YOUR WORLD
Have you ever met a person who is constantly telling you about how stupid other people are or how others affect them? You know, the person who comes in contact with ten people in one day and tells you that they had problems with all ten. I have a simple question for this person. Have you ever thought that in all ten interactions with these ten different people, there is a common denominator? Unfortunately this person cannot see that they in fact are the problem, not the others.
We cannot change the other person. We can only change ourselves. The problem is unless we realize that we are the problem it is difficult to make that change. I have often said that if your world is broken, fix yourself and you fix your world. That is why in my new seminar "THE 2% FACTOR" I emphasize how the participants need to look at themselves and how they are contributing to the brokenness of their world.
I have no conflict and no stress in my life. I can't remember the last time I got so upset with a person or a situation that it made me crazy. If you want to eliminate stress and conflict in your life you need to look deeply into yourself and actually understand how your actions are affecting others. Stop trying to figure out why they are doing what they are doing to you. Stop trying to change them, as the only person you have control over is you and you alone.
Once I realized this simple concept, I had only to change the way I acted and reacted to what they did to me. As I examined how I was acting and reacting I realized that in some cases, although they may have triggered the conflict, I was the one in control of where it went next. I also found that in some instances I was the one who triggered the conflict and in other instances I was the one who exacerbated the conflict by how I acted and reacted to what they did.
I am now quite conscious about how my actions affect others through constant self-examination. Answer these questions: Are you constantly criticizing others? Do you have a short fuse? Are you quick to judge others? Do you mistrust others? Are you the one always in the middle of an argument? Have you ever had someone tell you to calm down? Will you go out of your way to tell one person about another person's stupidity? Are you aggressive in your actions and speech? Of course I could go on with these types of questions but I think you get the point.
If you can honestly answer these questions and if most of them are being answered with a yes, then you need to self-examine because believe it or not, you are most likely the problem, not them.
I can tell you if you work on being able to say no to all of these questions you will change the way you look at your world. The only people who cannot see how their actions are adversely affecting the world around them are 2%ers. They cannot and will not do self-examination and they will never take responsibility for how their actions have affected others. Do you want to be known as a 2%er? I think not, so begin today by examining your thoughts, actions and words to see if you are affecting your world in a negative way or a positive way. Of course my hope is the latter.
You can only change your world by the way you act and react. You cannot change "them".
Be well...
Ted
MOM'S TWO CENTS By Jordin Williamson
SPRING SPHERES OR EASTER EGGS
I was reading an article online the other day about a school board in the US that was instructing their students to refer to Easter Eggs as Spring Spheres. The article was explaining the uproar that this was causing with the public. The school board has had to release a statement explaining their policies. "We have a religion and religious accommodation policy, approved by the school board in 1983, stating that 'no religious belief or non-belief should be promoted by the school district or its employees, and none should be disparaged,'" the statement said.
I guess things have really changed over the years as far as being politically correct but the fact that it has gone all the way down to chocolate and candy really surprises me. What I believe and what I teach my children to believe is my choice as well as that choice of every other parent. But one thing I think about our world today that is different from many years ago is that we are more diverse in our mixed cultures. People of other races, religions, and beliefs surround us every day. Our children are surrounded by different cultures every day. So why should we be teaching them to generalize everything in their lives. Shouldn't we be teaching them to celebrate others differences? Shouldn't we be exposing our children to others cultures, customs and religions? Isn't that what makes our children grow to know that we are all equal? That we are all special and valuable even if we believe or celebrate different things?
Our children should be exposed to all the things that make this world wonderful. And if that means that they eat Dim Sum, snack on Easter eggs, spin dreidels, and learn to beat a Native American drum, we should welcome that with open arms and open hearts! Our children deserve that!
Quote of the Month By Brodi Mouradian
"The world changes one person at a time. Start with yourself and encourage others to do the same.
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