Volume 3, Issue 2, February 2004

THE LOVE MONTH

Some see February as the love month, the time when we give and receive Valentines. So I thought that I would dedicate this issue to love relationships.

Did you know that 68% of relationships change because of an Attitude of Indifference? That means that 68% leave because they thought that their partner did not care.

It’s funny that when we begin a love relationship we are kind, thoughtful and caring. Nothing is too much trouble for our loved one. As the relationship grows we begin to become more and more complacent. In some instances we almost take the other person for granted and that can create that Attitude of Indifference.

The Mouradian Model for Cooperative Action© shows us how we can keep our relationships as fresh as the day we first met.

Validate and celebrate your partner. Make sure that he/she feels that he/she is the centre of your universe. Compliment your partner. Put your partner on a pedestal. Do the things you used to do when you courted each other. Stop sweating the small stuff and stop trying to change him/her. Too many of us say, “I love you. I love you, now change!”

Also never tell him/her what he/she is doing wrong. Tell him/her what you need. Most people honestly do not believe they are doing anything wrong. So when you decide that what they are doing is wrong then conflict begins.

Try this: “I need you to phone me if you are going to be late next time. That way I can go on and do other things and we can meet later.”

Not this: “How stupid and inconsiderate can you be not to call and say that you are going to be late?! Do you think that all I have to do is sit around waiting for you?”

You can see which one sounds better.

Do your best to accommodate without losing your sense of self. Sometimes it is not really necessary to get that last piece of cake. Ask yourself if you really need to win this one. Maybe you are just feeling neglected.

Build your relationship on trust and respect, not power and ownership. You do not own your partner and cannot and should not try to control his/her actions.

Valentine’s Day is seen as a day to express your love to the special person who shares your journey. But why only limit the giving of a heart to only one day a year. Make Valentine’s Day every day. Love is not a day on our calendar; love is a way of being. Love is also nonjudgmental and unconditional. To quote some long standing words:

Love is through richer and poorer.
Love is through sickness and heath.
Love is through good times and bad.

TED.


Humphry says…

“We are the ones that have to watch how we treat those whom we really care about”


BRODI’S BITS…

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