THE CARAVAN Volume 10, Issue 2, February 2011


GIVE JUSTICE TO THE OTHER PARTY FIRST

Gandhi said, "Justice is rendered quickest by giving justice to the other party first." Whether it is in our business life or our personal life, we forget these simple words when it comes to conflict. We say to ourselves, why should I be the one to give in or it's their turn to say that they are sorry. Our emotions take over where common sense should prevail.

In many business situations I see people standing firm on issues that really have an easy and simple solution. Yet, people don't seem to want to budge from their position of power. We have to realize that it is not about winning or loosing, it is all about fairness.

Tenet #4 in The Model talks about creating a balance and equilibrium to create a cooperative action without loosing our sense of self. When I look at any situation where I have to make a decision the only rule I have is, will I loose my sense of self. If my sense of self is not harmed, I will do what is requested. Therefore more times than not, I'm the one who renders justice first and I can tell you that makes my life so less complicated.

Here is the tricky part, you cannot let your personal anger or bias take over the situation and you certainly can't have the "what's in it for me" attitude either. Because it should never be about what's in it for you but about what is the right thing to do. When you do the right thing, you will see that it can't possibly harm you and it will always bring a quick resolve to any and all situations.

I don't care if you just did my dirt earlier or if I simply don't like you, I will do my best to ensure justice and fair play while ensuring I don't loose my sense of self.

When being the one to offer justice first you will actually be in control of the situation because you will be the one who opens the dialogue and more importantly the outcome. If your first offer is rejected or you are met with a 2% reaction, you are still in control on how things will move forward. Simply keep the emotions out of the decision making process. Keep an eye on the justice aspect. "Is this the right thing to do?" "Will this harm me in any way?" "Will this bring a benefit to the other party without harming me?"

Some questions you should be asking yourself if you do not want to hold out your hand first. "Why am I so angry about this situation?" "Are my emotions and my MEGO controlling this?" "What is the real reason I am resisting?" "What is really bothering me here?"

So, put your MEGO behind you and do the right thing without emotion and without wanting something in return as the returns will be many. Give justice to the other party first and justice will be rewarded back to you.

Ted



MOM'S TWO CENTS
By Jordin Williamson

WHOSE POWER STRUGGLE IS IT?

When your child asks you for something and your knee jerk reaction is no...stop and ask yourself why. Why are you so quick to say no to the request? Is it because of a safety issue or a health issue or maybe just an over protective parent issue. Whatever the reason, be sure it is not just a reaction of power.

I think that sometimes we feel a little out of control when it comes to parenting and if we are having a particularly uncontrollable day we often try to pull our power back to us. On a more calm and powerful day that request may not have been so out of reach for the child but today you just aren't going to allow it; and often because you need the power.

Choose your battles with your children. Choose your power struggles. And choose wisely the right time to assert your authority. If you are resisting the request for them to go play with a friend or have a sleepover or go to the mall, is it really an out of line request or are you in so much need that day for power that you can't give it up. I think it applies to any child, of any age, even if your toddler just wants a cookie before dinner. Is it really that bad of a request or are you in need of the power at that moment??

Stop and ask yourself; will this hurt them? Will allowing it hurt me? Am I having a bad day and am I taking it out on them? Am I the one that really needs the time out?

Whose power struggle is it? Are you saying no to teach them good values, morals, or personal safety...or are you just in need of the power?


Quote of the Month
By Brodi Mouradian

"Try to keep a balanced mental state at all times and assess each situation you find yourself in before judging it. Don't react just on emotions."

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