THE CARAVAN Volume 10, Issue 3, March 2011


OWN UP TO YOUR ACTIONS - DON'T COVER-UP

As I watched the news last month when the Bev Oda story came out it struck me that all she had to do was to say, "Yes, I did it." She would have been judged on the decision about what she did; now she is seen as foolish.

The same is true with the Prime Minister's answers and of course I could go down a long list of politicians from Bill Clinton, to Richard Nixon. But it is not only in politics that we tend not to own up to our actions, but it happens time and time again in business and our personal lives as well.

Why it is so hard for us to own up to our actions and apologize for our mistakes? Are we afraid of a lawsuit? Are we afraid of others seeing our flaws? Are we embarrassed about the decision? Whatever the answer is, whenever we begin to avoid a direct answer or begin to cover something up, we start on a slippery slope to nowhere.

People aren't stupid and they soon see a "stickhandle" when they see one coming. They see avoidance and they see misdirection. We think we got away with it, but it soon comes back to bite us in the rear.

How difficult is it to say, "Yes, I did it? Now what are we going to do?" You will find that people can forgive a mistake but it is almost impossible to forgive a cover-up.

There are several types of mistakes, missteps or errors. Some are unintentional and others are quite on purpose. Most people will forgive an unintentional mistake or error in judgment and then we can all move forward. If you did something intentionally to harm another, then stand up and take your medicine. Believe me, the punishment will be less without a cover-up than with one.

We have to remember that we are all human and we all make mistakes. As youngsters we were told, "Tell me the truth, don't lie to me" when we were caught with our hands in the cookie jar. I am sure you passed that standard on to your children as well. So, practice what you preach in business and your personal life.

Can you imagine what kind of a great world we would have if all of us stopped the cover-up and began to own up? I can tell you that you will all but eliminate conflict and the need to prolong a story. Think about the Bill Clinton affair and what would have happened if the response were something like this.

"Yes, I did do that. My wife and I have discussed the issue and it is our private business, now let me get on with running the country." Or, Tiger Woods, "My wife and I are going through personal marital issues and I would appreciate some privacy as we work through these things."

In business I have seen companies spend thousands defending the un-defendable. They frustrate staff and customers with transparent stick handling finally settling at a cost far greater then simply owning up to the problem and solving it.

Now maybe some 2%ers will keep digging or won't be able to forgive and move on, but that is their problem and we have not compounded the issue and fed the 2%ers by introducing a cover up to the mix.

There is a saying that I have used many times before. Are you doing what is right for the team or are you simply doing what is right? Do the right thing and own up to your actions and the problem will simply be yesterday's news.

Ted



MOM'S TWO CENTS
By Jordin Williamson

SPREAD THE POSITIVE WORD

I know that it can be very easy to complain about work, family, friends and issues that happen daily. Life has its ups and downs and people love to go on and on about the downs. But always be aware that little ears are listening.

When you are on the phone after dinner complaining to your friend about work or that other friend that did something to irritate you, it isn't only the person on the other end of the phone listening. Your children are listening. They hear everything. And they may not understand what you are talking about but they feel the negative vibe you are giving out.

It isn't for their little minds to be worrying about the issues that we adults need to deal with. The biggest problem that a 5 year old should worry about is what to eat for a snack today or what toy to play with next. They shouldn't worry about the bills or family issues. And I believe that older children absorb more than we realize. A 10 year old may begin to resent that family member you keep complaining about or worry about the arguments you keep having with that co-worker.

Be aware of the vibes that you are spreading around your home. When you are in a bad mood, try playing a game or going for a walk with your kids. Try to avoid picking up the phone to kibitz with a friend while those little ears are around. Save that talk for coffee out with a friend willing to lend an ear. Keep the positive vibes and conversations for home. It would do all of us some good.


Quote of the Month
By Brodi Mouradian

"If you don't have anything nice or honest to say, don't say anything at all! Sometimes our words are all we have."

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