THE CARAVAN Volume 10, Issue 5, May 2011


FOCUS - FOCUS - FOCUS

Have you ever had friends who seem to be jumping around like lost ping-pong balls? One day they are doing this and then the next day they are doing that. Or, have you ever had moments when you didn't know what you wanted and there seemed to be too many options that made you crazy? This is where we need to focus and keep our eye on the target. This also takes some self-evaluation so you understand what it is you are actually trying to accomplish.

A friend of mine was talking about a recent relationship and she was wondering if she should move in with her partner or have her partner move in with her or if they should both get a new place together. I asked her a very simple question, "What is it that you want and what is it that you need?" Now that may sound selfish, but too many of us make decisions that have total regard for everyone but ourselves. We need to focus more on what we want and what we need.

Another friend wanted to go into business for himself but kept coming up with excuse after excuse and angle after angle. "Should I do this?" "Can I do that?" Again I asked him a simple question, "What do you want out of the business?" Focus!

Many times we get ideas and then we bog ourselves down trying to figure out all the angles so the idea won't fail. I agree that we need to look at all the upsides and all the downsides, but we tend to take our eye off the ball and lose the reason for the idea in the first place.

So, whenever you are changing something in your life, whether it is a residence, a friendship, a love relationship or a job focus on what you need from the relationship. Going into a situation without a clear understanding of what you need will only lead to the breakdown of the situation. Remember I am not talking about being selfish here, because if you satisfy your needs in the situation you will be free to satisfy the needs of others. It becomes an amazing circle of satisfaction.

Finally, don't fall prey to the whims of others to the detriment of your own needs. That doesn't mean you cannot accommodate what they need as long as your needs are being met, then go for it. Remember, focus, focus, focus on what you want and what you need and you will make the decision that is good for you and everyone you come in contact with.

Be well...

Ted



MOM'S TWO CENTS
By Jordin Williamson

FOCUS ON THE GOOD NOT THE BAD

We tend to focus our day on the bad things that have happened and forget the good things. We may have had 5 good things happen that day but when our family asks how our day was we instantly pipe up about the one bad thing. It often throws the groove off for the entire day and prevents us from enjoying the good things.

We also tend to focus our attention on the bad things our kids do. When our family asks how the day was we pipe up about the time-out the child got or the mess they made or the attitude we got that day. Rarely do we start off with the great things they did that day. Maybe your child helped set the table for dinner or got a good grade on a test or made a new friend. But the first thing that is recognized for the day is the bad thing that happened.

Maybe we could try to focus on the good things. When the family asks how the day was try to answer with only the good. Praise the child for the good things they did that day and save the bad things for the adult conversations once the child isn't around. They already know what they did wrong. They have probably already be scolded or grounded for it so why rehash it and make them feel bad again. We don't enjoy people constantly reminding us when we screw up so why would a child want to be reminded of it all day either.

Let's focus on the good things and teach them how to improve on the bad things but not focus on them. No child wants to feel like they can never do enough to make you happy. If they have to do 10 great things to get acknowledged but get constantly criticized for the one bad thing, they may stop trying to do the good things altogether. All our children want is to be loved and acknowledged for their wonderfulness. Stop focusing on the bad and relish in the good!!


Quote of the Month
By Brodi Mouradian

"Life is so precious! Don't waste too much time worrying about the past or the future. Enjoy every minute and focus on the good things."

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