Volume 2, Issue 10, October 2003
THE RIVER OF LIFE
Picture the churning rapids of the Niagara, Ottawa or Colorado Rivers. Moving quickly, they seem out of control. A major force of organized chaos representing life’s journey. Now picture three groups of people who are trying to negotiate these rapids.
The first group of people are the 2%ers (see Caravan Volume 1, Issue 8, August 2002). These people are going against the current and are angry at the river. Keep in mind the 2%ers are the type of people who are always angry and are always blaming everything on everyone else. 2%ers never take responsibility for their own actions.
2%ers will challenge the natural laws of the river and call the river wrong. These people will continue to swim against the current and not realize they are the true cause of all their own problems. 2%ers are never proactive, they are always reacting to situations. They rarely plan ahead, except to deceive and misdirect. Just think of these people fighting against the current, all the time believing that they are in fact going in the right direction and everyone and everything else is against them…they are always right! They believe this in their hearts and in their minds.
The second group has no self esteem. You could probably use the term codependent as they are dependant on others to define who they are. I like to call this group the ‘non-selves’. They feel that they are not in control and being taken down river at the sole discretion of the river. The rocks are beating them up. The current is tossing them about. They feel that life is “doing it to them” and that they have no way out. They truly feel that they have to take everything that the river is throwing at them.
The non-selves are lost because they don’t have an internal locus of control. As family members, these people are the ones being abused; in relationships where their spouse or partner is controlling and manipulative. As coworkers, these people are the ones that seem to get passed up for promotion. They are the ones that others take advantage of. You may not think you know any of these people because they do their best to stay in the background and allow others to take credit for all that they do. Many of them feel that they don’t deserve the credit. They feel that they are not worthy. So the river of life simply uses them and then spits them out when they are all washed up and of no further use.
The third group is the “Ted type”. These people are proactive instead of reactive. They have learned to go with the flow without losing their sense of self. The Ted types understand that they are the ones in control of how they negotiate the river of life.
Because they have been down this river before they remember the spots where they hit a snag. They know where the low hanging branches are. That is why they do their best to prepare ahead of time. They balance themselves and become one with the river.
Here is the tricky part. Because of the turbulence of the river, the river bed is constantly changing, similar to the fluidity of life. So, when life “does it to you”; when you hit a snag in the river; when a rock jumps up and bites you on the butt; when a branch bops you on the head…
- Don’t get angry and turn into a 2%er
- Don’t give up and become a non-self
- Sit up, look around…
- Remember what happened and learn from it
- Balance yourself
- You are in control
What you do and how you react to situations will determine how the rest of the journey down the river of life will be.
The river is not in control of you. You are in control of the river. Be proactive instead of reactive. Learn what it takes to navigate the rapids of life. Understand that like the river, life has its calms and its rapids. There are twists and turns and sometimes there are things hidden beneath the surface that can surprise or even harm us.
Navigating the river of life is not an easy task. There has been many a night when I have sat up asking why I am being tested again. What am I to learn from this last turn in the river? No, it is not easy. Will it get any better? That is entirely up to the individual. Only we are in control of our thoughts and only we are in control of how we react to situations around us.
Can the river of life be conquered? No. But life is not to be conquered, it is to be lived. It is to be enjoyed and savored.
As you are traveling down the river of life, don’t let the 2% set you off course. Remember it is the 2% who are going in the wrong direction. You can tell this by the way they are acting. It really is quite simple to spot. Just shake your head and move on down the river.
When you see a non-self, reach out and give a helping hand. It won’t take much, a non-self needs to know that someone cares and that these people (the non-selves) do have worth and that they are loved and appreciated.
Finally, keep your eyes on your course. Watch what is happening around you. Notice the beauty in the river. Interact with those who understand what you do and help those who don’t quite get it.
The river of life should not be feared. It should be enjoyed. Go ahead, get your feet wet and see what wonderful experience is waiting for you just around the next bend.
Ted
Humphry says…
”We are responsible for our own lives. We cannot blame others for who or where we are.”
FEEDBACK
Hi Ted. This note is to tell you that I pulled The Best in Life off my shelf today and re-read some of my favorite parts. I have read it from time to time since you conducted the sessions for Parks Canada in 1999 and gave us copies. I also want you to know that, since 1999, I start my search for parking spots at the front doors of malls and work my way back. You were right - there are often spots right up front! I have gone through some ups and downs in relationships over the past few years. Your book has helped me keep a good perspective. You likely get compliments just after you finish workshops. I thought it would make you smile to know that four years later, your work is appreciated and continues to make a difference. Thanks.
Kim
Brodi’s Bits
Just a reminder that November 10th is the election for your municipal council. Please make sure you get involved by voting in your area. There is an old saying, “Everyone deserves the government they get. First they elect them, and second, they allow them to stay.” For our friends in St. Catharines, remember Ted is running for Regional Council and would like your support. If you would like a sign for your lawn, please contact us at 905-682-7380.
Thanks to everyone who has sent in their comments and encouragement. Also, thanks to our volunteers and current supporters - your time and donations are greatly appreciated.
I would also like to remind everyone that our new website www.CooperativeAction.com, though under construction, is up and running. Please note that our email is now Info@CooperativeAction.com...please make sure that your email is set up to receive mail from us if you are on our Caravan list. Thank you.
I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday weekend and keep up the good spirits. Also, please have a safe and fun Halloween!
All the best…
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