Volume 3, Issue 3, March 2004

KEEP THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE

I attended a meeting recently where the discussion went on for an hour and a half longer than necessary.  This occurred because two people in the room of twenty-five could not see the big picture and were so intent on getting their point across that it created confusion and some bad blood.

Time after time we seem to get ourselves in situations where we get so bogged down in the process that we forget the goal we are trying to accomplish.  Let me give you a hypothetical example.

Let’s say you belong to a group (A) that has to present a proposal to another group (B).  In the past there have been members of both groups who mistrusted each other and therefore there are people on both sides that can’t seem to let go of the past and concentrate on the future.

As the presentation begins one can feel the tension in the air.  The presenter does her best to maintain a neutral upbeat presentation.  Unfortunately people in Group B are showing body language that is less than hospitable.  After the presentation the first question from a member of Group B is harsh and cutting.  Now members of Group A begin to go on the defensive.

Slowly the dance begins and everyone soon losses sight of the real question that was asked in the presentation and people begin to take sides and draw lines on process, wording and power positioning.

This is where we need to stop everything, sit back and restate why the meeting was called in the first place so we can keep everything in perspective.  Questions like:
“What is the bottom line?” and “What are we actually trying to accomplish here?”

When emotions run high perspective goes out the window.  People don’t seem to be able to listen and the divide widens.  I have a humorous example that actually happened to me.

Years ago I was traveling Europe and was in Vienna , Austria .  I was trying to board a tram and got on with my money in hand and the driver would not let me board and kept speaking to me in Austrian and I was trying to get my point across in English.  Neither of us could understand each other and our voices began to rise.  The essence of the misunderstanding was that all passengers had to have exact change to board and I didn’t have exact change.

Picture these two people who are now yelling at each other, one in Austrian and one in English.  All of a sudden a woman came from the back of the tram and said, (in perfect English) “Excuse me, do you speak English?”  Without missing a beat, I turned to her and in a very loud voice shouted “NO!!”  Then I quickly realized what she had asked.  I calmed down, apologized and said, “Yes”.  She then translated for both of us and the problem was solved!

My point is this; I was so caught up in getting on the tram, I lost the perspective of what was going on around me.  I told a woman who asked me in English whether I spoke English that I didn’t speak English.  Boy did I feel silly.

Keep things in perspective.

1 - Calm down: don’t let emotions overshadow sensibility.
2 - Focus on the goal: remember why you came to the meeting in the first place.
3 - No ownership: you do not own the problem or the concept, let go.
4 - Lose the baggage: forget about the past and focus on the future.
5 - Play nice: enough said.

You will accomplish more with cooperative action than you will with 2% behavior.

Best in Life

TED.


Humphry says…

“We must respect each other’s right to debate and disagree without anger and condemnation.”


BRODI’S BITS…

I would like extend my congratulations to Ted on becoming the New Democratic Party (NDP) candidate in the St. Catharines riding in the upcoming federal election.  Anyone who wishes to support Ted in his bid to become a member of parliament can email us at Ted@CooperativeAction.com.

Good luck Ted!!


To find out how we can help you or your organization please browse our website

To subscribe to THE CARAVAN please send an email with your name to info@cooperativeaction.com and type SUBSCRIBE as the subject.