Volume 4, Issue 2, February 2005 A SEAT AT THE TABLE I have a real problem understanding how a marginalized person or group can discriminate against any other person or group.  This aspect of human nature really fascinates me. Over the centuries there have been the “halves” and the “halve nots”; the people who have a seat at the table and those who want a seat at the table.  My dilemma is trying to understand how someone who has struggled and fought to get a seat at the table can turn their backs on others who want to share the same table.  How do the persecuted become the persecutor? Are our memories that short that we forget what happened to us?  How can the bullied become the bully?  How can a former slave enslave others?  How can someone who was beaten harm another? Last month I talked about the Golden Rule.  Let’s use that when thinking about how to treat others who want a seat at the table.  It almost seems that human nature says that when I get to the top of the hill, I will protect my space and not let anyone take it.  I think it would be more productive for society if we learned to share that space and allow others the access we so desired for ourselves. The next time someone wants to have a seat at your table try to remember how you felt when you were denied something that you really wanted and how great it felt when someone helped you get it. A country is judged on how it takes care of its minorities.  How do you stack up when it comes to how you deal with minorities?  Are you accepting or judgmental?  Are you understanding and helpful or do you put up road blocks?  Finally, when was the last time you held the chair so that someone could get a seat at your table? Do not ever forget that you were in their shoes at one time and you may be in their shoes again in the future. Look around; there is always enough room for one more at the table. Ted. FEED BACK AND COMMENTS Below is an excerpt from an email we received from one of our clients.  Ken was being bullied at work and we were not able to talk to his management or union, but by having consultations with us and taking our course Ken was able to take control of his life.  The great thing about The Mouradian Model for Cooperative Action is only you have to know how to apply it and it still works.  Here is what Ken had to say… Thank you so much for the assistance you have given me.  The lessons learned in the seminar have enabled me to deal with the harassment issue at my work intelligently and working with HR, management & my union, we have moved the issue on in a non confrontational manner, thus avoiding a war that nobody would win….You might be interested in knowing that a side effect of your seminar was that my self-confidence, which had taken a fairly vicious beating over the past 18 - 20 months, is now restored.  For me, that's a great thing.  I'm also more relaxed now that the issues have been taken off my shoulders and transferred to where they belong….  My management people are very pleased with my efforts and have noticed a difference in me since taking your course.  I have, of course, recommended your course to them….I'm trying to apply your lessons in everyday life, not just at work but you're right, it isn't easy to make significant change.  It'll be a work in progress forever I guess….Again, thank you so much.  I'll keep you posted on what's happening and I did forward the March seminar information to HR, management and my union. Ken M. Keep up the good work Ken… DID YOU KNOW?   By Pierre R. Ouellette Hon.B.A., LL.B. One of the surprising things that our research on psychological harassment in the workplace has revealed is just how subtle the bullying can be. It is not only the classic 'jerk at work' that one has to be concerned about but rather a whole range of '2%' behaviour. Did you know that one of the favourite tactics is to spread rumours and to engineer 'divide and conquer' schemes within the work teams so as to turn co-workers against the target? We still have room in our next course on March 23rd.  For more information email us at info@cooperativeaction.com or call us at 905.682.7380.  For those of you how live and work outside of the Niagara Region, we can bring the seminar to your organization, just call us toll free at 1.877.393.3433 Humphry Says… “It is not what the other person does to you; it is how you react to it that counts.  Do not return 2% behaviour with 2% action.” To find out how we can help you or your organization please browse our website To subscribe to THE CARAVAN please send an email with your name to info@cooperativeaction.com and type SUBSCRIBE as the subject.