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Volume 4, Issue 11, November 2005
THE FISH ROTS FROM THE HEAD There is an old Armenian saying, “The fish rots from the head.” This “head” could be the head of someone we know. For example, the head of the country determines the health of the entire “body” of society. The head of the city or town determines the health of the whole community. The head of the business or department determines the health of the entire workforce. The head of the school or school board determines the health of the entire student body. The head of the family or, more importantly, our own head, determines the health of the entire body. Think about it. If you don’t feel good about yourself, if your head is rotting, then how can you feel good about others? How can you show respect for others, if you do not respect yourself? When our heads are rotting, we judge others. We question motives. We become paranoid and think everyone is out to get us. The interesting thing is what we feel about ourselves becomes how we treat others. For example, there have been many studies that show that people, who have difficulty with sex and sexuality, generally have trouble dealing with their own sexuality. People afraid of showing weakness are constantly condemning the soft side of society. Those who constantly talk about how others are dishonest are sometimes the first ones to cheat or steal. What we hate in others is generally what we hate in ourselves. What we are afraid of in others is sometimes what we fear most in ourselves. “The fish rots from the head.” What is your head saying? How is our head leading your body? How are you leading your family, your department or your company? Do you follow The Mouradian Model for Cooperative Action©, or are you a control freak? Are you happy being you? Do you like you? Are you proud of you?
Don’t let your head taint your view of yourself, the people you interact with and the human race in general. This journey can be incredible as long as you don’t let your head cloud the path with unnecessary fog. If you were a teacher, would you be the one that the students would want to come back to the reunion to see or the one that they would avoid?
At work, do you mistrust others? Are you always thinking that people are out to get you? Well, the problem may not be them; the problem may in fact be with you and your head. Remember The Mouradian Model for Cooperative Action©, and how we are always doing our best to accommodate others without losing our sense of self. The model tells us to celebrate the individual, well that is the first thing that we have to learn to do with ourselves and that is to celebrate us. We are so concerned with what others are thinking about us and what others are doing to us, that we don't seem to take the time to put our heads into a good space so that we can celebrate us. When we celebrate us, we are able to celebrate others. Stop letting your dysfunctional head create a dysfunctional relationship with yourself and others. You must allow the good in you to stand out and you must begin to see the good in others. Yes, I know that there are people out there who are rotting from their heads and you have to deal with these people on a daily basis. These people are the 2%ers that we so often talk about. The key is not to go down to their level of dysfunction.
My mascot, Humphry the Camel always says that we should be reliable in everything that we do, for reliability builds trust. We should be proud of who we are and treat others with the respect we would want. And finally, he says that we must walk softly as we are trying to reach our goals and not leave a path of destruction in our wake. “Ted, that’s easy for you and Humphry to say. But how do I stop my head from rotting?” Here are some easy steps to think about that I know will help: 1-Nobody can hurt me but me. 2-Let only the good in me see only the good in you. 3-I will not go down to their level of dysfunction. 4-I will begin to trust others and not read anything into their actions. 5-I will stop saying “yeah, but” and be more accommodating. 6-I will treat everyone with the respect I would demand for myself. 7-Acceptance is not necessarily agreement. 8-I’M OK. There is nothing wrong with me. 9-I like me as a person. 10-My happiness is up to me. It is no one else’s responsibility. I hope that these ten points will help you see that your head does not have to rot. If you have any other ideas or thoughts that you would like to share with others on how you keep yourself balanced and centered, let us know and we will pass them on. Peace… Ted SIDEBAR – By Pierre R. Ouellette Hon.B.A., LL.B.
One of the challenges of working with someone like Ted is that we are constantly involved in one community activity after another. So I am also constantly being struck by the many worthy causes and the many talented people out there helping out! Our most current ‘adopted agency’ is the Niagara Regional Literacy Council which provides programs in adult literacy. It does wonderful work with a network of volunteer tutors, dedicated directors and an incredibly small staff. But this is not one of the more glamorous charities – if I may be permitted to use that term – and has a rougher time than most in finding the resources it needs to meet its mission. And that mission includes a commitment to some 300 adult learners every year! The Mouradian Group is looking to lend a hand by helping to organize and sponsor a ‘Scrabbles for Literacy’ tournament. The event is set for St. Catharines on April 28th, 2006 so please mark out that evening in your calendars! We will be looking for companies to sponsor tables and teams as well as for individual registrants. It should be a great time!
For more information call the Niagara Regional Literacy Council at 905-687-8299. Note - Thanks to everyone who responded to my request for advice for that friend of my daughter’s who was looking for a career change. That process has taken some interesting turns and will definitely be the subject of a future Sidebar! REMINDER: JOIN US FOR OUR BUSINESS SEMINARS INCLUDING: Leading to Success (Leadership Skills)……Nov. 23 Collecting Your Accounts Receivable……Dec. 7 Business Basics – Power Day………….…Jan. 25 REGISTER TODAY! CALL 905-682-7380 FOR MORE INFORMATION
To find out how we can help you or your organization please browse our website: www.CooperativeAction.com |
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