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Volume 5, Issue 11, November 2006
NOBODY CAN HURT ME BUT ME Many of my audiences have heard me say that I have no stress and no conflict in my life. That statement makes some people cringe and they believe that you must have some stress and some conflict in your life or you’d be dead. Well, I’m not dead and I still stand by the statement. Let me give you an example of what I mean by paraphrasing a story about Gandhi. It has been told that Gandhi was speaking to a large crowd of people and while he spoke a heckler kept interrupting by calling him various derogatory names. Gandhi stopped, turned to the man and said, “If you were given a gift and you refused to accept that gift, whose gift would it be?” The heckler thought about the question for a moment and then replied, “If I refused the gift, then the gift would still belong to the giver of the gift.” Gandhi said, “That is correct. So, I refuse to accept the gift of those words you are giving me. Keep them to yourself as they are still yours.” Nobody can hurt you but you. No matter what someone says to you or about you the only way you can be hurt by the words is if you accept their meaning and internalize those words. Words alone cannot hurt as long as you refuse to accept them. Remember the old school chant, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Boy was that reaching back in time. Funny when I think of how many times I said those words to others when I was young. I understand how easy it is to take what someone says about us to heart. As humans, all we want to do is be validated and celebrated for who we are and what we accomplish and when someone makes personal attacks on our character or what we have done or what we stand for, that can hurt. Remember, the 2%er has no concept of how harmful the words he or she spoke actually are. Let me repeat, nobody can hurt me but me. I have come to the conclusion that as long as I do things in a good way, meaning, that I will do my best not to harm others with my actions, therefore, my actions are done in a good way. Following that thinking and understanding the 2% mentality, I know that I did nothing wrong and I would say to the other person, “What did I do to you to make you that angry that you had to call me those things? If I did anything that adversely affected you, I apologize.” Hence I have no conflict. Nobody can hurt me but me. I am in total control of how I internalize and how I react to what people say about me. If I get upset and angry at comments others may make, I realize that what they are saying is their perception and my perception is different. Seeing that perception is personal and perception to the person perceiving is real to that person, then the only perception that I have control over is mine. Bottom line is that I am in control of me; therefore, I am in control of how I react to them. Hence nobody can hurt me but me. Enjoy a stress free journey. Ted.
SIDEBAR
By Pierre R. Ouellette Hon.B.A., LL.B.
Joe (not real name for privacy) was on a roll! He was midway into the second one-year contract with a great company. He loved the work and felt like he was making a significant contribution. He was not alone as six months ago he was called in and had the second contract renewed at mid-term! You know something untoward is coming right? Well last week Joe was escorted off the premises after being told that his contract was up! He was shocked as he felt, at the very least, that he had another six months under the last extension. He, after all, had it all documented. Unfortunately all that documentation was in a file that he had kept in his desk at work! He now only has what he claims is a purged version of that file and a much tougher case to prove for breach of his employment contract. So what is the moral of this all too true tale? That is simple - keep your copies of employment related documents at your home and not at work! Protect yourself from the unexpected. EVENTS
2ND Annual CHRISTMAS CARAVAN FOR COMMUNITY CARE DEC 5TH – 7TH Stop by our office at Non-Perishable Food and Toys Click Here for Flyer or Contact Us at 905-682-7380
To find out how we can help you or your organization please browse our website: www.CooperativeAction.com or contact us at 905-682-7380/1-877-393-3433. |
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